In our modern world of celebrity, product placement and competition there seems to be a degree of humility missing in some of our leaders. We have rock star CEOs and celebrity politicians consumed by self-importance and self-promotion pushing their own agendas with a confidence that borders on arrogance. Elements of our society seem so obsessed with personal success that humility can be seen as a sign of weakness. In a global environment that discredits someone for changing their mind or doubts someone’s motives if credit is given to a rival, it’s hard to be humble. Am I implying that humble leaders are not strong enough to make an impact in our organisations? Not at all. I believe those who act with humility have the confidence and emotional intelligence to know that it’s a collective effort that has enabled their leadership journey. These leaders are secure in their capabilities without being over confident, they have the courage to voice their opinions without overstating and they never forget where they have come from. Humble leaders understand that it is better to have someone else identify their talents than personally singing them from the rooftops.
For many humility can be seen as a sign of weakness. It doesn’t come easy to most people, especially when there are times that you need to ‘promote yourself’ to get that next job. We all have an ego and there are times when some calculated self-promotion will assist you, but it’s when this is driving you that it crosses the line. Humility is actually a really powerful tool; it allows you the ability to compromise by providing a sense of perspective and reason and an ability to accept alternate viewpoints. It also allows you to adjust, reflect and grow, attributes that are actually desirable and are worthy of self-promotion if needed. To be able to admit a mistake and demonstrate how you have overcome and learnt from it is a process that “sells’ you far more than a win on every occasion. It shows determination, reflection and strategic thinking. It demonstrates to those around you that you are capable of having robust debate and have the flexibility to change tact when needed.
Working for large organisations with various degrees of complexity we must understand that no one person can have full coverage of every aspect, issue or solution. A humble leader is comfortable admitting that they don’t know the answer; in fact they’re comfortable admitting that they may not know anything about a particular topic and deferring responsibility to someone who does. This is not admitting weakness, it’s actually utilising strength. Knowing that there are people who may be smarter or have a greater knowledge base is a critical element of leadership. Admitting that you need additional advice actually creates an opportunity for someone else to grow by providing them with space to showcase their expertise. Strong leaders are able to coordinate all resources available to them to make informed decisions. They are able to use this strategy to either secure some form of action from those around them or as a catalyst to initiate their own work. The ability to draw upon all resources openly admitting that you don’t have all the answers is a courageous leadership move that not everyone is comfortable with. Humble leaders won’t let ego get in the way of positive outcomes.
Humble leaders don’t micromanage. They understand that this level of scrutiny placed on those they work with can be harmful to productive working relationships. They pay attention to detail, they plan and have high expectations but they’re prepared to take less causalities on the journey. Micromanagement not only shows a lack of trust in your colleagues it also shows a highly controlling personality. This not only demoralises those you work with but leads you to become less effective trying to have tight coverage and reign over all. This level of effort can only be sustained for so long. Humble leaders are able to get the same result, with a level of detail that delivers impact by asking questions not dictating terms.
Humble leaders know that they can learn from the collective intelligence in the room. Being able to look across the table at colleagues and opening your mind to new learning is a productive way of increasing your ability, knowledge base and strategic thinking. It also allows you to not become too fixated on one method of operation. Being comfortable enough to engage in debate and accept differing viewpoints, whilst not always agreeing demonstrates a clear level of leadership. Inexperienced leaders often get caught up in the power struggle trying to ensure that their idea is adopted as the final product. Whilst this allows them to come out on top in the argument it does little to the confidence of the team who may feel like there was a predetermined agenda. Successful leaders have a flexibility that focuses on the impact they want to have and the agility to change course when new evidence arises. Being humble in this situation and adopting the ideas of others not only builds a sense of team and collegiality but keeps everyone focused on the end goal. You are more likely to get successful outcomes when those you work with know that you accept and understand that there are different ways to achieve a goal. Humble leaders will acknowledge that the end point can be arrived at from many paths.
It takes a sense of humility to recognise your own areas for development and set about a plan of action to develop them. Humility allows us to seek the help of others by openly admitting that we have something to learn from those around us. History is littered with powerful leaders who lacked the humility to accept advice only to see what they had worked so hard to achieve crumble around them. Truly humble leaders understand that we are but a single part of a much larger picture. They are willing to step right outside their comfort zone even if it means that they appear not to be on top of their game. They will use these opportunities to grow accepting contributions of others to assist them. They’ll prepare and do their homework to try and ensure they succeed, but they are willing to take the opportunity and are prepared to fail and live with the consequences. They have the humility to accept that they may not have succeeded and are willing to accept constructive advice from those around them knowing that it will strengthen their capabilities in the long run.
Working in large organisations we are often working in teams. We must recognise that we are supported by the efforts of others and give recognition when deserved. Watch a humble leader at work and there is no boasting, there is no grandstanding, they’ll happily give away credit and use a healthy sense of self-deprecating humour to deflect any kudos coming their way. It’s not to say they don’t have an ego, we all do but they are genuinely uncomfortable with praise in a public forum, they’d happily settle for a quiet ‘well done’ away from the spotlight knowing that the right decision has been made and that there is impact in the work of their team. They often display a modesty about their work truly believing that what they are doing is just a fraction of the great work being conducted around them.
Am I a humble leader? I guess by actually asking the question and writing about it then possibly not. Claiming to be certainly negates the act itself. But I am trying to learn the lessons and apply them to my leadership journey. My challenge and possibly yours is to reflect on your behaviour each day and see if there is a degree of humility guiding it. Here are 6 things you can do to work on developing humility in your leadership.
- Admit your mistakes.
- Give credit to the work of others
- Accept others opinions (accepting is not the same as agreeing)
- Understand that you don’t have all the answers
- Let others lead
In a results driven society it’s hard to be humble. If you can build humility into your leadership repertoire those around you will thank you for it.
Always the bridesmaid. You know that feeling like it’s never going to happen for you. The roller coaster of emotions that is merit selection. You left the interview feeling confident, all your referees were strong, it’s only a matter of time, you’ve got this one, you can feel the positive energy. Then you get the call, you can hear it in the voice straight away, that familiar tone that always seems to deliver bad news. It was a high quality field they say, you did exceptionally well they tell you. It’s a process that is both mentally and physically draining and at times makes you question whether you can go through it again. This is the point when your courage, grit and sheer tenacity have to kick in. You must push through and not let that downward spiral of emotion turn into a force that derails your ambition.
It can be extremely frustrating getting so close on so many occasions. The power of not being the chosen candidate can leave you feeling incredibly flat physically and emotionally. Scientists from the University from Michigan conducted a study using MRI images that demonstrated the physical and emotional power of rejection. Their study was able to make direct comparison between rejection and physical pain. They concluded that not only were both rejection and physical pain distressing but that they actually share a common neurological response. They were able to provide evidence that the region of the brain that became active in response to physical pain also became active when exposed to rejection. This supports the thoughts of unsuccessful candidates who often express that not getting that last job ‘really hurt’. For many of us we spend a great deal of time trying to balance our emotional response to rejection by adding illogical thought processes to our perceived failure. We must be careful not to overgeneralise by thinking that we will never get that job we are seeking.
Whilst it is natural to feel disappointment I firmly believe that we must turn the negative into a positive and use it as an opportunity to grow. Try not to take the decision personally. Just because there was a better candidate on this occasion does not mean that you are not highly skilled and if given the opportunity would do a magnificent job. I’ve heard too many unsuccessful candidates dwell on negative self-talk by over analysing their own skills looking for points of failure rather than using it as an opportunity to sharpen their focus. You know the spiel “I just can’t do interviews”, “I can’t talk in that educational jargon”, “If they could just watch me work”. Whilst merit selection may not be the best system, it is the one within which we operate. You must look for the positives, your CV was strong enough for your referees to be called and your referees were strong enough for you to be invited to interview. It’s a process of which you have successfully covered a majority of the moving parts. Try to think of it not as a deficit but as preparation for the next challenge, for some it will be a short sharp sprint for others it’s a marathon, it can be a difficult task but in the end the reward will be worth it.
Over my 25 years in NSW Public Education I have had the opportunity to work with many high quality educators. For some, the road leading to the next opportunity has been long and sometimes arduous. I have tried to provide some proactive advice to assist in their journey. I believe the following few steps may be useful if you’re always the bridesmaid.
Highlight Your Strengths
Most people don’t like the idea of identifying their strengths and highlighting them. At interview this is exactly what you must do and it can be an incredibly difficult task. Prior to you interview you should take time to prepare examples that show your strengths and demonstrate how they can add value to the organisation you are joining. Doing your homework and identifying your role in an organisation is crucial to a successful interview. The panel wants to know how you are going to use your strengths to enhance their operation.
Get the Question Again
Don’t be afraid to ask for the question to be repeated. Sometimes we stray from the intent of our response and start to provide a series of unrelated examples. If you feel you are off track it can be difficult to realign mid answer. My advice is to stop, admit you have gone off course and ask for the question again. The panel would much prefer to hear an answer that relates to the question than a broad generalised response with no relevance to the question.
Review Your Questions
When leaving an interview it is always good practice to try to write the questions down and consider your responses. In the event that you are unsuccessful you can use these to assist you with preparation for prospective interviews to come. It provides you an opportunity to work on any questions that you may have had difficulty with during the interview. It can also be useful to talk through the questions with your referees as they sometimes can see elements in a question that you may have missed.
Always Seek Feedback
I am surprised at the number of candidates who do not seek feedback. This is the one way you can put your mind at ease with actual answers as to why this job was not for you at this time. As an employer I firmly believe it is our responsibility to give good quality feedback to each candidate to assist them with their profession al growth. Try to find out what the successful candidate did that gave them that edge.
Like most experiences interviewing well requires a certain skillset. As with most skills it requires practice. There are not many of us who are naturally talented at walking into a room full of strangers and performing on cue. Working with a coach or mentor to structure your interview answers and practice potential scenarios will allow you to provide true and accurate responses in the pressure cooker environment of the interview. How many times have you walked out of the room and thought ‘Why didn’t I say this?’ Practice interviews allow you to structure your responses and become adaptable when that curve ball gets thrown in.
Not getting the job doesn’t feel good, but it’s not the end of the world. If you have prepared well and performed your best then maybe the job just wasn’t the right fit for you. You have gotten to this point by working hard in a highly competitive environment. You may feel like it is never going to happen and those inner thoughts and feelings of self-doubt are natural. Recognising that this negative thought process is taking up energy and being proactive in channeling it into a productive plan for your next challenge will serve you well. No matter how many interviews you have, don’t let not being the chosen candidate keep you down. Keep your head up, keep looking for the right opportunities they will come along. Every bridesmaid has their day in the spotlight and when it comes you’ll be ready.
Is this the hill to die on? Have you ever considered that question when faced with a big decision? In leadership positions we can find ourselves in situations where some degree of compromise of our values may be necessary. Working for large organisations we often confront situations where we must match our localised needs to those of a system and this can cause moral conflict. You know those decisions when you have the voices on either side of your shoulder pulling you in opposite directions? There is a choice to be made. You know you have to stand up for what is right and sometimes this can be extremely difficult. You’re at a morale crossroads. Having the courage to do what is right at this moment can have a significant impact on your reputation, it demonstrates very clearly your strength of character and the integrity that you possess.
What is integrity? Personal integrity is thought to be having a consistent set of principles or values that when faced with a challenge or temptation you uphold them regardless of the consequences. Social theorist Larry May, suggests that personal integrity may not be as rigid as this. He is of the view that integrity is not necessarily a core set of beliefs that are unshakable, but more a web of commitments that are interwoven and open to outside influences. In essence integrity is a moral balancing act where we are forced to make judgements. It is this space, that allows us to work successfully as leaders within systems.
We are not born with or without integrity, it’s a behavioural trait that is shaped by our experiences and as such evolves. With this in mind, it is reasonable that when exposed to more information we can become less certain about steadfast rules or moral judgments that we once made, whilst our integrity per se is not compromised the ground on which our judgments are made may shift. For this reason it is important to take time with big decisions and not to react with gut instinct. We must carefully consider all avenues before opening our mouths. Sometimes silence really can be your friend.
Recently I was on a tour of far Western NSW Public Schools. A 1200km road trip with a group of Principal colleagues. We spent 4 days together visiting high performing schools in rural and remote locations. As is the case with educators the conversation never strayed far from the workplace. We spoke about the strength of what we were seeing, the implications for our own schools, we discussed the challenges and successes of our own school communities and the allocation of a finite bucket of resources across an enormous system. What became evident very clearly, was that when push came to shove the personal integrity of each and every one of these leaders could not be compromised. They understood fully that working for a large system sometimes requires a moral compromise. They acknowledged that given the context of each situation they must balance their own moral judgements against the legitimate moral judgements of others. That sometimes the greater good can be a difficult but necessary position to take. They had a clear morale purpose that aligned with their values and beliefs and they would do what was right for students regardless of the fallout. When faced with a choice they would choose students, regardless of context, community, advantage or challenge every day of the week.
There are some simple reasons why living and acting with integrity are so important. When you act with integrity you don’t have to question yourself. You’re doing what at your core you believe is right, you’re weighing up all the information you have and following your moral compass. As a leader the work is often difficult enough without creating a minefield to navigate by cutting corners, making deals and selfishly gathering resources at the detriment of the system. Those we lead will take their cues from us, for this reason it is critical that we set the standard. We must demonstrate that we are dependable and accountable for our actions.
As leaders integrity sets the foundation from which our organisation can flourish. When we act with integrity those we lead feel safe. They know that when the difficult decisions come along their leader will act fairly and that their integrity will not be compromised. These leaders build an environment where people have the opportunity to be open and honest and know that their ideas whilst not always agreed with will be treated with respect and dignity. When we work with integrity we don’t undermine colleagues, we admit to making mistakes, we don’t cast blame and we share credit when it’s due. We are open and honest in our words and actions with no misalignment. In the words of Dr Seuss, “ We say what we mean and we mean what we say”.
In the end your career will not be remembered by the title you hold, the salary you earn or the office you leave. Your career will be remembered by the way you have or have not lead with integrity. In a nutshell you’ll be remembered because you did the right thing even when no-one was watching. In the age of Local Schools, Local Decisions, integrity really is a non-negotiable. In the end those you led will know that when you picked the hill to die on you did it with the utmost integrity.
Trust is a powerful 5 letter word that allows the human race to work effectively. It allows us to predict potential outcomes and make sense of what can be an unpredictable world. We trust that the sun will come up; we trust that our bank is securely storing our money; we trust that the lights at the intersection are working correctly as we pass through; we trust that the pilot has the correct qualifications to fly the plane. Trust is the cornerstone from which we make our decisions. It stands to reason then, that the most important part of a high functioning team is trust. It’s the foundation on which all other elements are built. As we enter a new year, some of us with new team members, some with new leadership, it’s the perfect time to start reflecting on the concept of trust.
Ask your team members if they trust the team. I’d be prepared to say that you will generally get a positive answer. If you probe a little deeper, I guarantee that you find the level of trust is conditional. You see there are certain parameters around which trust is generally given. Your team would trust that there are levels of acceptable behaviour that people abide by in the workplace. They may even go so far as to express that they trust that members of the team are working together placing individual interests aside. This though is just surface level, it’s your garden variety socially acceptable trust. High performing teams need a deeper level of credence that takes an investment of time and energy.
I believe that in the workplace trust falls into two categories. The first is that we trust our colleagues to follow the rules and the general social norms of the workplace. How we greet each other, the manner in which we interact, the sharing of resources and the general collegiality of the profession. The second is at a deeper level. This type of trust allows us to take risks, to expose our vulnerabilities, to ask for help and to remove silos. This is the level that we need across our workplaces. As a leader you need to engineer a protective environment for trust to be established. The question is ‘how do you develop this environment?’
Developing trust can be a timely process as past experiences can play a significant role in allowing it to develop. Trust is not a tick a box procedure, you can’t put in on your to do list and order someone to trust you. It’s a human emotion that can be multi-faceted. It’s a feeling we get when we share similar experiences. I’ve heard Simon Sinek say that just by doing what you say you are going to do doesn’t make you trustworthy, it just makes you reliable. I couldn’t agree more. I know some very reliable people but I’d don’t know that I’d trust them with my credit card details. However, I also know some unreliable people whom I trust implicitly. As a leader it’s a fine balance, trust is generally given from the very beginning a team is established. The difficulty is that you can only assess your decision once it has been given.
There is a great deal of research that supports the fact that shared experiences create trust. You’ll often hear that a meeting was good but the dinner afterwards was where the real learning occurred. This is because this networking time allows us to share common experiences. It provides an opportunity to share information voluntarily, building connections based on similar events. This level of informal exchange actually has an impact on our physiology by releasing the hormone oxytocin. This hormone is responsible for the positive ‘warm fuzzy’ feeling we get when we find something that strikes us emotionally. It supports the building of relationships which in turn builds trust. The more information we share and connect in a nonjudgmental way the more hormone is releasedand the stronger the bond. A study conducted by Amsterdam scientists Shalvia S. & De Dreub C. (2014) found that oxytocin actually boosted group serving behaviour, causing members of a group to act in way that would ensure the group achieves its goal. Now I’m not suggesting that we all engage in week long bonding sessions, we’ve seen how this has worked for some of sporting teams. What I am recommending however is that you spend time getting to know your team , taking time each day to touch base and build relationships.
Building trust takes time. I’m not sure there is any secret formula to building it as it’s an individual decision that is made based on a number of factors. It is my firm belief however that there are a few fundamental principles that can accelerate it.
- Share common experiences, taking time to get to know your people and taking an interest in them both professionally and personally will assist.
- Develop a shared vision; this builds trust as people understand what you are working towards together.
- Work collaboratively and do things that support your colleagues to show that you are prepared to put the needs of others before your own.
- Be consistent in your words and actions. This reduces uncertainty and brings a certain level of predictability to the workplace.
- Simply repeated the words you hear is not listening. Try to understand the message and possibly the reason behind it.
- Don’t be afraid to admit that you don’t know the answers. Asking for assistance when you don’t know the answer can create an environment where others will do the same. Clarifying ensures the job is done the right way.
- Be flexible, it shows you’re human.
- Follow through. If you make a decision and set a plan in place follow it through.
- Always be open and honest in communication. Nothing erodes trust like hushed tones and secrets.
In a world that is increasing in speed and complexity with ever increasing demands on our time, building a strong trusting environment is crucial. If we create an environment where we can completely rely on the person next to us, then anything is possible. High performing teams are not built on grudging compliance they thrive on trust. You can have the finest structures, procedures and routines in place but without trust your progress will be limited. Remember building trust really is the work before the work. It’s undeniably the glue that binds.
I’m a fraud! This thought hit me hard just recently. I observed some of the quality leaders around me and thought, I don’t measure up. They were so confident, so articulate, infallible to a point. I have good days and bad days sure, but not like these people. They are always on top of their game, never missing a beat, across every aspect of their learning to a degree I could only imagine – or so it would seem.
Have you ever been involved in an educational conversation full of jargon when all participants are nodding at the right times and interjecting with highly technical language? Did you feel out of your depth? Have you ever been invited to speak at a professional learning session or had your work singled out for the positive impact it has made? Did you question if you were the right person to be delivering the message? Was your work really of note? Did you question if you were worthy of the praise? Was there a nagging feeling that maybe you don’t deserve to be there? You rationalise by thinking that you’re just lucky, you’ve been in the right place at the right time, you’re not doing anything different when compared to other leaders. You then start to think, what if people start asking questions? What if they dig deeper? Then you have that sinking feeling of self-doubt. You feel like you don’t measure up. Did you feel like a fraud? Sound familiar? If so, then you’ve been held hostage by the Imposter Syndrome.
Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, both American psychologists, named the Imposter Syndrome in the late 1970’s. Their work outlined the psychological fear felt by high achieving individuals who perceived themselves to be intellectual frauds waiting to be found out and exposed. They often questioned their ability to be mixing in the company of their colleagues, feeling like they were somewhat misplaced. In the minds of those who feel it they’re not worthy of the position they had worked so hard to find themselves in. Clance and Imes concluded that people who challenge themselves and place themselves outside their comfort zone are more susceptible. These people are in a state of growth, looking to learn new skills and refine their practice because they have a firm belief that they can always improve. Acknowledging that we are always learning, whilst embracing the growth mindset, can be challenging and potentially leaves us exposed to the Imposter Syndrome.
The sometimes debilitating Imposter Syndrome can strike us all, in fact research suggests that over 70% of people will feel this way at some stage in their career. The feeling that in some way we are undeserving, that our success has come more from luck and being in the right place at the right time, than from anything we have actually achieved is at the core of the Imposter Syndrome. We doubt our ability, question our decision making processes and look for reasons outside our influence for our success. Those who get struck often neglect to look at the fact that they work hard, they do their homework and sometimes they take the calculated risks that others won’t. What we sometimes forget is that we are currently in our positions because someone saw something in us and gave us the opportunity. In times when you doubt yourself, at least have faith in those that saw your potential and gave you the opportunity. Whilst you may believe that you were lucky to be afforded the opportunity, you proactively took it and made it your own. Far too often we undersell our hard work and commitment.
The more I’ve tuned into the Imposter Syndrome the more I’m recognising it in others. It’s allowed me to take stock of those who’ve also talked about feeling this way. From what I can see, in order to feel it you must be making a positive impact. I believe you can take it as a sign that you’re on track. You can fake it for a while but eventually it will catch up with you, smoke and mirrors only lasts so long. From what I’ve observed the real imposters don’t get the syndrome. They seem to be almost oblivious, claiming to be something that they clearly are not. They continue to sell the snake oil, pumping up their own tyres regardless of the lack of progress. They show little ability to reflect on their practice continuing down well-worn neural pathways of self-praise utilising small subsets of data and research to support their work. In comparison those that feel the Imposter Syndrome often feel self-doubt. They question the accuracy of data and research, wanting to make sure that they are hanging their hats on a solid foundation. They trial new initiatives not because they are popular but because they have a belief they can enhance practice. My advice is to embrace the feeling when it comes and use it as an opportunity for self-reflection. Reflect on the work and obviously look for continuous improvement, but occasionally acknowledge that you do have some skills that serve you well.
So now that you have recognised that you may have encountered the Imposter Syndrome, I believe the following steps may assist you in using it as a tool.
- Confide in someone you trust and talk it out, not to actively seek a compliment but to get some perspective on your feelings. They can help you take an objective look at what you have achieved and guide you to understand that you’ve actually played a part in your own success.
- Understand that it’s not always about the paper credentials, don’t think you have to be the most highly credentialed person in the room to have expertise. Remember a title does not always give you credibility.
- Listen to the language you use. Sometimes the low modality of our language subconsciously leads us down the path of self-doubt. Phrases like “I’m not sure”, “it could just be me”, “I hope I’m on the right track”, “maybe I’m missing the point” shows you don’t back your own judgement. Believe that you can operate in this space and feel comfortable having an opinion.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. I’m currently involved in a learning community where we are discussing our personal assumptions that limit us. What’s interesting is that there are a great deal of people who share the same insecurities in leadership positions, yet we often hold them up as the perfect being not knowing that their own internal dialogue may be very similar to our own.
- Understand that you are growing and that you can actually change your point of view when new information comes to hand. Having an alternate opinion doesn’t make you a fraud, it makes you human. Realise that you don’t know everything and that anyone who thinks you should has placed a unrealistic expectation on you.
- Occasionally, just take that compliment. It’s good to be humble but sometimes you just have to take the compliment and say thank you.
- Know that perfection is unattainable. Celebrate you successes by reflecting on what you did that worked and refining what didn’t.
I spoke to an aspiring leader recently who was doubting their recent promotion. They trotted out the usual “I’m lucky, right place right time” line. My advice to them was simple. You can’t continually be this lucky. Be comfortable with your success and continue to work hard to maintain it. Stop and take note of how far you have come and reflect on the effort it has taken you to get there.
If you’re not sure if you’ve ever been held captive by the Imposter syndrome, try taking this test. Maybe then you can recognise it and acknowledge that you’ve had something to do with your own success. http://paulineroseclance.com/pdf/IPTestandscoring.pdf
Self-belief is not arrogance, it’s not blind loyalty to a misguided cause. True self-belief comes from deep honest self-reflection underpinned by a strong moral purpose that your work is making a positive impact. Maybe I’m not a fraud after all.
I’ve just started a course that requires a high level of self-reflection and I’ve got to say it’s scary business. Reflection is something that we as leaders and indeed as educators do on a regular basis. We constantly try to find better ways to engage our audience, to deliver better outcomes for students, to strengthen and broaden opportunities for the communities we serve. Having said that there is a great deal of reflection on the behaviour of others. I’m questioning though, how deeply we reflect on our own behaviour?
As leaders we constantly analyse behaviour to look for answers as to why things did or do not happen. Unfortunately we are not always as good at analysing our own. It’s a brave thing to really reflect on your practice. There is a significant difference between thinking about what you have done and really reflecting on its impact. It’s not about negative self-talk, “I should have done this”, “Why did I do that?”’ “You’ve really messed up this time.” It should be a positive process of analysing your action, your responses and trying to identify your impact. Did your leadership drive the impact you were looking for? Did you, as I am learning at present subconsciously negate the possible outcome you were trying to achieve? It takes a great deal of courage to really drill down. It can be quite confronting at times and can leave you feeling very vulnerable when you see the harsh realities.
An easy way to dip your toe into self-reflection is by reading about leadership so you have an increasing understanding of what makes a good leader, observing others, listening to their stories and reflecting on how you would have responded in the same situations, or how you might approach a new situation. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and trying to identify a better way of doing things almost absolves you of any fault and allows a safe space to start the practice of self-reflection. There may even be some parallels to your own context that might enable you to make some positive change. From here you can began to look inwardly to really examine what it is that could be holding you back. It may be a chance to break out of a routine that may not be as effective or efficient as it first was. I’m not suggesting that we are all flawed, what I do believe however is that everyone not matter who you are has some personal characteristic that can be developed, grown or enhanced.
Reflection is hard. Sometimes we don’t know where to begin, or just don’t want to begin. It can be quite challenging. For many of us seeing an accurate picture of ourselves with deficiencies, faults and areas for improvement can be quite confronting. The egocentric among us will proclaim “it’s them who have the problem, I know what I’m doing”. The altruist will reflect quite harshly on how they have let others down. Getting the balance right may take practice. The point of reflection is to analyse your behaviours, actions and decisions, opening them up to personal scrutiny and facing your own fears about your own professional judgment. Without true deep self-reflection I believe that you may be limiting your potential. Subconsciously you know when your best effort was not put forward and denying this and not reflecting will not make it go away, it will always be there gnawing at you. The difficulty is being 100% truthful with yourself. We have an inbuilt self-protective system that allows us to reason and justify our actions. It’s one thing to recognise our limitations, it’s another to act on improving them.
Self-reflection is possibly the first practice you will discard when things get busy but that is probably the time when it is needed most. Done correctly it can help you make accurate decisions in stressful and busy times. It is actually a really helpful tool to keep you centred, remembering the why it is that you do something. Allowing yourself quarantined time to think about your work, maybe the car trip, maybe a sneaky cup of coffee on the way to or from work can provide great opportunities for this. The point being that if you don’t dedicate time for reflection, the full agenda takes over and you move on to your next task. It’s not just the thinking about your actions that’s important here. Making plans of action, developing pathways, exploring other alternatives and testing out theories are all part of the reflective process.
Next time you go for a walk leave the phone at home and use the time to truly reflect on your leadership, you might be amazed at the answers. Try answering the following questions:
- Are you making a positive impact? How do you know?
- Would your staff choose to work at a school you lead?
- Do staff choose to follow your direction? Do they do this because they want to or because they are directed to?
- How do you feel about coming to school? Are you happy?
There is a great poem on self-reflection by Peter Dale Wimbrow Sr titled “The Man In The Glass”, I highly recommend it.
The educational world is evolving faster than ever before, new pedagogy, new research, new policy, new skill sets, a constant stream of information and all within a day’s work. To combat this leaders are becoming increasingly strategic. We map out plans, initiatives, contingencies, re-evaluate, analyse, refocus and repeat. The frenetic pace of the work has many of us leading with our heads. I believe it is time to strike a balance and ensure that we spend time leading with our hearts.
It’s often said that as leaders of our schools our staff are our students. Each day we trust our staff to make an impact on the lives of the students trusted to our care. Our staff are exceptional in getting to know their students, they know their academic, social and emotional needs and are able to plan suitably challenging tasks to ensure the development of well-rounded students. How many of us can say we do the same for our staff? How many leaders can honestly say that their interactions have staff leaving school every day feeling valued, supported and cared for?
Recently I’ve spent time looking at my own leadership. I’ve spoken to leaders, I’ve read about leadership, I’ve observed leaders in action and reflected on my own practice. What I’m coming to realise is that the head style of leadership, can for the most part, be learnt by following a series of steps. Admittedly it’s not quite that easy and some of us are better at following steps than others. However heart style leadership requires something more. It requires you to give of yourself. It requires leadership of service, it requires compassion, it requires you to listen, to suspend judgement and assumptions and look for the good in everyone, it requires you to give more and care more. Leading from the heart involves getting to know your people, treating them like family. Let’s face it we spend many of our waking hours with our staff, they are our workplace family.
This idea of a workplace family is an interesting one. You’ve often heard the saying ‘you can’t choose family’ and for many of us this is often true of our staff. Just like a parent in a family you have the enormous responsibility of making sure that all members reach their full potential. As a parent, just like a leader, you are trusted to ensure the wellbeing, safety and fulfillment of those you care for or lead. I am by no means suggesting that you are the sole authority, that you alone have complete responsibility for your staff. What I do believe however is that as a parent we would never abandon our children if they made a mistake, we would never focus on their shortcomings. As a parent we would always look to support, guide and encourage. We constantly model and demonstrate the desired behaviours we’d like our children to adopt. We would never give up on our children. Sometimes though we have to apply tough love, it’s not always about making decisions that keep everybody happy. Being popular and being your children’s best friend is not always wise. There are lessons to be learnt and difficult decisions to be made but as a leader thinking about how you might parent could come in handy. I believe this will allow you to lead in a more intentional way, with the intention of ensuring your staff feel valued and cared for.
We all know that even small acts of kindness can have a ripple effect. Just recently we had ‘Happy Week’. A week when we were deliberate in our actions, we went out of our way to ensure that the week was as happy as it could be. Random acts of kindness, morning tea, kind notes and messages and a staff get together on Friday afternoon. We gave ourselves time to breathe; we intentionally created opportunities for people to sit and talk, to listen to each other’s stories. It was self-reinforcing for staff. The more we modelled the more it spread, influencing all corners of the school. What started as a small initiative sent such a powerful feeling throughout the school, it was quite staggering to see the transformation. It was almost a collective sigh of relief to know that we are in this important work of educating together. The challenge is to maintain this positive energy.
As a leader developing a culture that magnifies that positive energy can be difficult. Leading with heart, showing empathy and genuine care has the potential to create an environment of acceptance. Just as we’d like our staff to develop warm, accepting and encouraging classroom environments, our task is to create this on a larger scale. If we are able to achieve this, those we lead will be more willing to take risks, to share practice, to ask for help, to seek support and guide and to offer assistance. That trusting environment allows people to exert their energy on collaborative practice rather than developing silos of self-protection. The right environment allows people to stick their head above the parapet and have a look at what’s happening around them.
We are in a people centred environment. Professor Richard Elmore once said that “Teaching is not rocket science. It is in fact far more demanding and complex work than rocket science”. Add to this the individual personalities and it can be an emotionally charged environment. Therefore if we give more, care more, make each interaction matter, we place not just ourselves as leaders, but our entire school community in an environment that has a strong culture to withstand the tough times. We know that the tough times will come, they always do. There is truth behind the saying winning the hearts and minds. If you build the emotional connection you develop trust, this comes from the heart. In turn you develop reasoning, this comes from the mind. You need one before the other. As important as the analytical, strategic and visionary skills are, it’s a lack of interpersonal skills that derail most leaders.
To some extent this post may seem like I’m advocating for a free range, choose your own destiny environment. On the contrary, I will always maintain high expectations; I will always ensure that we place students at the centre of the decision making. What I will do however is consider the human impact and ensure that I take time to breathe, slow down and develop relationships. I believe this gives added strength and depth to leadership.